I have decided that toast is incredibly important.
You can have it dry white (a la Blues Brothers). You can have it just with butter deliciously spread and melted to the four corners of the toast. You can have it with an endless number of toppings, including what has to be the absolute pinnacle of British Cooking, chips! Whoever invented the Chip Buttie was having a very very good day indeed.
Toast is good for chicken sandwiches, hotdogs, steak and you can even eat toast raw (errr, that would seem to be bread).
Toast is fantastic and a man's best friend is obviously his toaster. One wouldn't want a talking toaster like Talkie Toaster from Red Dwarf. There are limits as to how into toast you can be before it becomes unhealthy. But a good toaster is a joy to all and deserves pride of place in anyone's kitchen. Someone I know doesn't really like toast. How do I know? Simple! He keeps his toaster hidden in a cupboard. When you want to use it, you have to take it out of the cupboard, plug it in, use it, clean all the crumbs up and then unplug it and put it back in the cupboard of shame. It almost takes all the fun out of eating toast. And what if there was a toast emergency? Having the toaster in the cupboard could very well endanger somebody's life.
No discussion of toast would be complete without a mention of peanut butter. Just as many people have firm views on which is the tastiest fast food burger, individuals often have a deeply held belief on the issue of crunchy vs smooth peanut butter. Is there a supreme being? Who cares! Which idiot flatmate bought the smooth peanut butter ? An issue worth spending a lifetime on. Peanut butter is the universal food. It goes with everything. Well, maybe not mint sauce or, come to think of it, chewing gum. But apart from that, oh, and brussel sprouts, it's all good.
Coming soon.... an in-depth examination of why crunchy peanut butter was called "whanger" at school. (As in "Which of you pikey b'stards has had the last of the whanger? There's nothing to put on my toast now except brussel sprouts!"
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3 comments:
well that explains partly why i couldn't find you.... I googled "porky toaster" from Red Dwarf - which does in hindsight seem a little unlikely
Sorry, posted under wrong account, and I threw in a spelling error to boot...
Couldn't agree more on the peanut butter, but I would like to point out that I once, as a child, was subjected to peanut butter souffle which put me off the whole idea for at least 3 months. Which is saying something considering that, as a very greedy child, at the age of 12 all I wanted for my birthday was a jar of it...
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