I have on my desk a stubby holder. Stubby holders, for those of you who don't know, are little neoprene vests to put beer cans in so that the warmth of your hand doesn't heat up the delicious chilled beverage you are holding.
Stubby holders are also good for putting pens in. Mine has about 30 billion biros in it. My problem is that approximately 0.3 pens actually work.
"How can 0.3 of a pen work?" I hear you ask. Well, most pens don't work at all. The one special pen, doesn't work then seems to respond to the desperate scribbling on the back of an old envelope, raises your hopes up high, and then refuses to write when you actually try to use it for anything.
Thus, technically, the pen works. For all practical purposes it is useless however.
The only way I cope with the futile search for a working biro is to try and view it as a Zen exercise in patience. I also get further opportunity to practice my self control when arguing with bank tellers about why I have had to write a cheque out in orange crayon.
One day I will have a Stalinesque purge of my stubby holders and all the bad pens will be cast out, never to return. One day...........
3 comments:
Might I suggest that you just dump the whole lot in the bin on arrival at work tomorrow morning, on the basis that the vast majority of them don't work?
Then you can start afresh with a new collection. Imagine the freedom!
Thanks for the advice LottieP.
I have a question for you. What should you do if you are being squashed like a tiny bug in a game of Scramble?
a) Set fire to your opponent's house
b) Become mournful and retire to bed with some mint choc chip ice cream
c) Invest in a dictionary and read improving books
d) Drink heavily?
You left a few out:
e) Accuse your opponent of cheating
f) Try and fail to cheat yourself
g) Sulk
h) Cry
i) Keep on keeping on
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